Sunday, 29 November 2015

BB`s Railway ___ by Beano Boy


Part 1


                                                                                                  
Below are a few of my railway tracks .Three in total,but another is ongoing so eventually it will take its place alongside the others. Small buildings are ongoing for that new line too.  As it stands my little railway layout of 12 foot by 6 foot,is for running trains pulled by my old antique collection of toy locomotives.    Although I do have modern ones too,that all seem to have no real puff along life span to them at all.   ( I used to obtain as a member the Horny Collectors Club addition Loco each passing year as it wizzed me by. However HUMBROL bought Hornby and the Club that had been in place along with all its staff were no longer required. Very Sad.)                                                                                       





This is one of two tiny Signal boxes that were scratch built.
Above the passing pig-iron train rattles along with its 26 loaded wagons,on their way to Glad Grinds Foundry a few short miles up track. The little fellow near the open door is leaving after his long shift is over,and he will make his way down to the nearest Pub,to wet his whistle. The roof lifts off revealing the inside workings of this place,and there is also a light fixed inside too.  I will show that later. I do have lots of tree`s but none on show here.




There goes the pig-iron train and across the way a  vintage train has  stopped at the Honey Well Station,a certain something I showed a glimmer of recently. The small town buildings that will eventually be based upon streets and tiny courtyards are placed for show. The Layout covers the periods of the 1950`s and early 1960`s,and although i have added to it,there is still very much to do.
I laid my track each piece at time upon a scratch built paper card roadbed,and after pinning it in place the glue was globed in place and the crushed up ballast went on,and lots of it too. After it had  set up good and hard a new 3" paint brush swept away lots of this dry stone.
Before laying any track i reasoned that it would need to move it on future occasions,and after seeing many a tracked railroad model ripped to piece's because it was stuck and nailed in place upon the base.I decided not to stick my track onto the base at all.  Each section of road-bed was simply designed to separate with ease,and is sitting upon newspaper,so it can be moved off anytime it needs to be and in a jiffy! A very short space of time.  Track costs an absolute fortune to buy,and destroying it for wanted changes for me was not an option  I would take. After all the lines were cleaned up,a wagon with fine metal wheels was pushed along the track untill it run yards on its own by a good simple push.  Each line all checked out OK,and the Trains began to run free and easy in spite of some being over 60 years old.
                                                           
                                                    ITS A KIND OF MAGIC
                                                                 
                                                                      BB

The Unusual Building Site by Beano Boy

The wonderful thing about a Dalek is they come in one pose,and they look and do what people expect them to do,and without the need for animated use of movement. So i began to include them in my story`s. You will therefore see what you do not expect to see.

The Unusual Building Site
  

 All the activity takes place upon the small craft table,which is a pure delight because it slips comfy like under my chair. This makes for easy painting and work a relative ease with the odd,very odd scratch building that sometimes come my way.
However Plans of This and of That, sometimes can take many a Sci- Fi, direction. And  all at the very same time.





The work was going swimmingly well,but working all hours under ones Light Bulb does tend to wear one out on these projects of doing stuff. 

Upon their passing by MayBell mentioned to Fred,"BB`s very tired you know Fred?" __" I know MayBell,He sure does work hard doing his Research Writings,and then this,Whatever this is?" Replied Fred. 

Now upon the subject of good old Fred,he used to be an Uncaring,Ice Cold Recon Exterminator.Yes most certainly that,and as for his age,your guess is as good as mine.He was once a Dalek,but is now a F.R.E.D, known now to his  fans,simply as Fred,and MayBell,is just a sweet MayBell.                                                                                        


"I think BB`s gone to fetch some biscuits from the Cookey Tin, MayBell."___ "Fred,I`ve just had an idea. Lets get some help for him while he is busy Rumpling his way through his favourite munchie ,crunchies." ____ "MayBell I think I can arrange that.O,Boy! This should be Good."


"MayBell,look at them go. Quick and jolly good Fun!"____ " Fred,perhaps this is to quick."____
" No MayBell,I think more help will add,add,and add much more before BB,returns." ____ " Fred you are getting to carried away with all this helping."____ " Don`t be Silly,I`m stood standing here MayBell,and not being carried away.    

The Signal is sent by Fred,and instantly more help arrives.


The new arrivals, (yes that rings a bell), knew what exactly what to do.
Uncanny-Like but True.


While BB`s hot cup of Rosy-lea,is warming down,the fresh assault upon wood piles begin. As does the construction upon this rather fast filling up and overcrowded Building Site. " Move the cup. Push it over the edge." A Red Dalek orders._____ " No,No, Leave it be." Fred over-rules that demand. _ " Fred, your Pepper Pot Alien helpers are getting out of hand." A rather worried MayBell exclaims.

Does this remind anyone of the  Sorcerer`s Apprentice ?
  

As BB, is heard shuffling along from the kitchen while Humming his favourite Tea Time 
Hum. Zip___________ they are all gone in an instant.  Or in fact half of an instant.



As the working Spec`s were placed upon the table."Gosh! I cannot remember doing these." He said to himself while fetching his cup of tea."I`mm,I am getting rather forgetful of late.",and so it was with his warm cup of tea in one hand,and a shaky plate full of wobbling biscuits in the other that he shuffled off up the stairs and to a comfy warm bed. Mrs B,always make mention of the crumbs in the bed,and BB, always in reply makes mention, " Can`t think how they possibly got there." 

BB

PART TWO

It was one of those days when there seemed far to much to do. Tons of mail arrived,book`s and model figures for the Collection needed checking out,and then Mrs B,kindly reminded me while i sipped away at a rather cold cup of tea,to Hover up all the Cookie Crumbs now upon the bedroom floor.

While trying to master that new beast we bought recently . A beast, that seemed to have a will of its own into deciding in  what direction it wished to go. i yanked the noisy thing along the top landing and swung it madly through the open door way of our bedroom, and finaly got those cookie crumbs along with half a rug sucked up.It seemed a mystery why half a rug would get sucked up in such a hungry way.The look of the new VAX Machine, strangely with its alien  look ,reminded me of those pepper pot aliens in the toy collection. Instantly i had an idea that would free up more time for my writing. ________________Great!




While delegating authority and responsibility i told my two friends, "Remember it is your project of putting to half`s together and so on,and Fred don`t be burning down the house when casting your laser in the direction of cutting and making more pieces. OK?" ____" OK. BB." Fred replied as he  twizzled a turn or two on my hand.____ " Everything is in hand BB,And I`ve got the garden hose fixed to a tap and at the ready," MayBell explained.
And so it was that a new smell of fresh cut wood drifted out of an open window of the Beano residence.  

"It`s not another Hyper drive is it Fred.?"_____ " No MayBell of course not."


"There you are MayBell another batch cut for our project."___ "Great work Fred,but you make sure that you don`t cut the table in half like last time."____ " You`ve always got to bring that up MayBell."_____ " Yes Fred,Better to bring it up,Than you bring us down."____ " I`ll get some help to Carry the pieces through  into the other room." Fred said with a smiling chuckle to his voice. After all Fred has no feature such as an animated smile to his outside appearance,but inside he was quite humorously chuckling away,with the memory of Mrs B`s,best table being parted like a Reppils    Reppik.  ( A funny creature that splits in two every other day. Having eyes in the back of its head it does bounce backwards on the ground of his distant home planet.  )
So
Another Building Site is underway.


"Check for Square! Check for Square!" A Delek directs.____"What for? Beano Boy never does." Came the rather caustic reply.


"Whats that tune you are humming MayBell?" A rather inquisitive Fred asked.  _____" Oh, It`s just, `HIGH HO,HIGH HO,AND OFF TO WORK WE GO.` From Snow White Fred."_____ " Well i Never. What`s a snow white MayBell? ___ Well,She`s a Walt Disney cartoon character Fred."______" Well I never. You sure are smart MayBell."___" Well thanks Fred,but i aint that bright really i just know a little about lots of things."______" There you are MayBell. That`s being smart. "  Expecting more questions it is at this point MayBell  shakes her head and thinks to herself, `It is going to be one of those days.`

                        As you will see,there is such a full flurry of over active activity. Even though having no legs for running they certainly can move when they have to. It being the case that the `Have To Factor,`is firmly fixed into place upon their mainframe computers.


"Are you sure they are working to plan Fred?"___" Yip! I`ve orginized everything  MayBell." ___ "I`mmm,now I`m worried."____" Don`t be MayBell.I downloaded the Blue Prints myself,from the Internet."____________


"Well they certainly know how to work as a team Fred."_____"Yip!"_____ " They remind me of leaf cutting Ants."___________ "They sure do MayBell."__Reader U know what question is coming next? See you are quite smart 2.


"Fred, Looks like they need more wood."__" Opp`s!__ " What do you mean Fred?"___ " Well I need to order some more MayBell."____ " What? You mean BB,is letting you use his bank details?"______ Fred sighs,a Sigh! And thinks to himself,`It`s going to be one of those days.`


Steps are built up for coming down while others are built down for going up.Yes it`a a hive  of activity that makes sense. One could say___


The work is highly and lowly underway,but certain eyes have set thier sights set upon this rather unusual building site.______ And upon what is being built.

                                 


Rather Blue faced and all over Blue Romans. The Plot Thickens!

To be Continued.

BB
_________________________________




The Comic Style Continues


  Whaffle & Lolly Pop Sticks.




"Fred ,how many did you order?"______" 3 Of each MayBell."______ " Fred the invoice is for 2.000 each. That`s 3.900 feet of wood. BB,is going to do his Nut when he see`s this lot." A very worried MayBell declared to Fred.____" Well can`t we....."_____" Can`t we what Fred."_____" Can`t we sweep some under the carpet?" ________" Well Fred, have you not noticed that we have the entire lower floor made of stone?  And another thing their are no carpets."____" MayBell, there are carpets a plenty upstairs? " _____" Fred,Fred,take a look see just how small we are compared with this mountain of sticks that have just arrived. Just how on earth are we going to get over 3.000 feet of these up the stairs?"  _____" MayBell,that`s easy I`ll get help."____ " No,No Fred. We`ll think of something."________" Perhaps,you could eat some MayBell?"____ " Now,now Fred,I am a very fine looking MayBell,and have no wish to increase myself to the size of this wood pile."

It was at this point i entered upon this rather frantic scene,and being quite surprised as i looked intently at the invoice i,said," Fred what a Great Buy. You`ve saved £10.00 for this bulk buy."___ "Wow! BB,You mean I did a right  something for a change?"____" Yes Fred, And it`s OK guys we`ll invite the kiddies in from the court to come visit during the coming Holiday, to make a few What Ever of their very own."____ "Yippee! That will be fun." Declared the fun loving Pepper Pot Fred. As for MayBell, She being a lady had the last word. " That sounds good BB,but make sure they don`t tie me to the railway lines like the last time they came to play. That Toy Story 2 Train,gave me such a Scare!"  I  then had a thought of Mrs B,coming home to the sight of all these Lolly Pop Sticks. I`mmmm,Perhaps i could sweep a few under the carpet? Opp`s! There are none.
_________________________

Just What Does One Make With  Such A Load?



Yes i,can remember someone saying , "That  could be useful." ____
I replied," Not really. It being a brand new invention it was designed very well,but the Daleks who knocked up such a wonder as this,lost the plans and the operating instructions on how best to snap a Gaul`s neck.



Above shows some new arrivals,and coming from sunny climes ,they did so feel the cold on the new photo shoot table. So much so,that they burn`t that contraption down to the very last stick. It was soon after this that another fellow showed up with the operating instructions.

Below is something they didn`t burn,but which they half - inched,PINCHED!


What am i to do? They seem a very unfriendly bunch.
I know what Remco would say.  BB

Monday, 23 November 2015

BB`s Scratch Building Explained by Beano Boy





The Welcome


Rolling  Cardboard


Curved Corrugated Roof Section
of the  Triggles Houseboat  
This was made using cardboard of which one side was stripped off. Then the piece was rolled back and forth using the handle of a craft knife. No blade of course. By doing this and applying very little pressure the curved metal roof was rolled very easily.




Creating Thatched Roof Detail with Paper Card and P V A Glue
Dip the edge slightly into the glue and tap it on. It`s quick,and drys quick,and so more can be applied.    To see what the effect looks like apply a simple home made wash to see detail,and also where more work is needed. 



My Work Table slides nicely under my chair. Makes for ease of scratch building or painting.


Paper buildings when glued up and painted are so tuff  compared with flimsy plastic or Styrofoam or resin chalky buildings. I have built structures  that Mrs B, could  stand on and did without damage.

The Buildings

I designed the houses to squeeze in as many streets that i could. The  width is only three inches           to  every building ,and this squeeze enables two terraced houses to occupy that small space                 However the illusion of a greater size and distance is maintained,because as one moves around the layout the view changes to another street full of terraced houses.   It is easy to understand the principle just how it works. Lets imagine one is walking down a street with this type of housing.You can only view the front of each home it being the case,a door,windows and roof with chimneys. It`s as simple as that.                                                                                                                                    
                                   




Double Sided Shops

On this two and a half foot wide table,there are over sixty terraced houses,and i could double that number on this five foot long table.


The building above sits upon the same three inch foot print,giving one the illusion of a much more substantial building. Remember up is free,so use it.My design system of scratch building allows for four streets,of housing,shops,pubs,factory`s ,bus station,and the all important Honey Well Railway Station.  All houses,are fitted with lights. This has made it possible to have three operational railway lines on the layout. With a forth line still being constructed.


                      The Station was taken off the line while alterations were carried out to the track.


BB

Saturday, 21 November 2015

The Toy Roman Replacements by Beano Boy

                                                    
                             

"Are you sure it`s true?"_____ "Yip! We invade Britain."____ "Whatever for? Those Brits are a mean bunch you know?"______ "Tin , Lead and Coal."_____ "Coal?"_____" Yes,Coal,but its not been discovered yet."____" Well i never."

On a need to know bases,the real objective  was kept Highly Secret. So Secret in fact, it never ever  has been mentioned in any history book. Or anywhere. Except here and Now.

Very soon with a fair wind and Galley Slaves rowing.The Romans invaded lower Britain. Then established Strongholds,and after Bif! Bash! Crash! Wollop! They seized what they had come for. The Cabbage Patch!
A few days later.
Reviewing the replacements.


"Flavious,this cannot be.Surely Caesar,would never allow them to land in that condition?"
_____"Well Markus,you are my Twin Brother,and I say it is.And whats more is there are only two of them."___" Gad!This sounds worse than i thought.Two you say?"_____ "YES.And to make things worse they are to guard our Highly Prized Objective,  The Cabbage Patch."

"No,No Flavios. This can`t be happening. Look at them. They are not fit to replace our brave lads who now lay injured so, in the Hospital Tent, after being Bashed about by those nasty Brits."____ 
"Well Markus, I did advise you not to let the guys play them at Football!"_____ "Yes,Yes Flavios,you were Right. However for now,we best get  E`m painted up before Caesar see`s them."____ " Righty O` Brov."

"Now Flavious,concerning that Football Match. Those Nasty Brits, Cheated, because they used those wooden clubs."____" NO,NO  Markus. The Brits call them Cricket Bats."_____" Cricket Bats?"
____" Yes, it`s a Game that`s not been invented Yet!"___" Well i Never."

It was a short time later when Flavios sent me a scroll. A certain something i could not read,but i guessed it was about the two new replacements who were already assigned to their new post.
There`s not much going on down there. It makes one wonder why all the fuss about half a fly spec.


"You mean we came all the way from Gaul,to guard this dirty little spot in Britain?" _______"Yip!"____"Whatever For?"______" Perhaps this could be the high spot of Britain,and people flock here each year for their Summer Holl`s."
________________

I got to Splish! Splash! Paint onto these two fellows,and soon I`d given them both color and a wash. So back they went on duty to their really important post.  It had lightly rained while i took time out to smarten these guys up, and___________________________

                                               
                                      I guess we sure do grow them quick and big in Britain!

                                                                          BB

Friday, 20 November 2015

Hillcrest Cottage Tales of Those that Lived There by Beano Boy

                                                               Copyright 2015
                                                             
                                                                     Foreword

Upon my construction of the Scratch Build ,`Hillcrest Cottage`, i began to pen the tales of this old place,and of the people who once lived there. Although fiction much of it is based upon real people, as well as certain episodes and conditions witnessed and suffered in my own lifetime. At its beginning it was named Hillcrest, because of it having been built up from one.
                                                                   
                                                                   1
                                                       George Senior

The off-white painted cottage was rather long,being  over 60` long and made of 18" Thick  Cob,and had four good sized ground floor windows with the door planted just off side of the center on each side of this place. Reaching 33` wide it was also very large and the thatched roof housed two great tall brick chimney stacks,one at each end, and also four good sized Dormer Windows. Windows that looked down from on high upon the slopping ground of the front garden,and the narrow pathway leading down to iron gate, sheep pen fence,and the road beyond.To the back similar windows looked up as more ground gradually rose steeply then levelled out. That was where  wooden outbuildings stood in place. It was George Triggle Senior,a Willow Hurdle Maker a man with strong hands that had bought the land in 1897,and who had built both the cottage and extensive wooden outbuildings at the back.  One being a workshop rather like a small open sided Barn,that just had a slopped roof. It was here the Hurdle Maker worked long hours and countless days making  Willow Fence Panels which were sold for Half a Crown a piece.
Working at other things and other places to earn a small wage,George did what work on the place when he could. finally  he placed the chimney pots in place in the Spring of 1905. It had been a hard long slog  building a home from the very ground it stood on. Now it was finished,and they named it Hillcrest.

 In those days no mains water ment getting water from a stand pipe down the road.No Electricity supply,ment oil lamps and wax candles,were the order of the early dark nights. George Senior,had a vision. Get married and raise a large family,then sit back comfy in his ripe old age because he would be supported by them. However visions, Dreams do not often materialise. He had married Beatrice Maude in 1903,and it was she who helped out with the thatching of the roof. Eventually two sons were born. Twins in the February of 1920, and Beatrice Triggle was 36  years old.Old George as he was called then tipped the scales at 51,and was still working as a Hurdle Maker. He reckoned upon being born in 1869,but as there were no records of his birth he might well have been much older.

As for George and Jack ,with only 7 minutes between each birth. That was going to make a world of difference,and from a young age the boys displayed odd uncanny behavior. George Seniors Dream was winding slowly down.
   
 Old George Triggle,the Hurdle Maker died in 1925.

Beatrice was left to bring up her boys alone. It was very,tough, rough,and at times starvation touched the ribs inside all of them. The land was used wisely,and planting crops and raising Goats,and Chickens  kept them all from being claimed by the Grim Reaper,but  it was a close call.
( An  experience never forgotten.)

                                                                            2

                                                    George`s Sevice to The Crown

1939 loomed up dark and most menacing  for Gt Britain, and George went off to war after joining the RAF, he being assigned to ground crew work. Serving in N Africa he rose to Warrant Officer,and vowed never to set foot on sand ever again if he made it through. Making sure Spitfires were patched up quick for the next near miss sorty ment George, was not well liked with the ground crews,but he was a man bourn for these times and he now found himself excelling in the field of war time engineering. In making do and mend, The RAF Command could see no better caustic man for that rough duty. George was however a very fair man, if they worked he did along side of them. In the vast scorching heat , or freezing cold of that long lasting desert war the planes flew. It was George who helped out on the Bofors Guns when the Italians mistook the odd shiff-shuffle of tents and out buildings for a German Air base. The surprise on both sides was complete as the three Italian trucks not firing a shot drove right through that make shift base without firing a single shot. By the time the Guns were manned those cheeky Italians faded into the cold night. George wearing only shorts was glad those 40mm shells he carried to the Guns were not needed.  The base was bombed by Gerry later the next afternoon twice,but they only bombed a few empty tents and useless prefabricated huts, and stripped bare trucks used for spares, along with a few hundred empty oil drums that took off as if they were rockets as the fumes inside them ignited. It was a few days later those same Italians lost again surrendered gladly to a force of three RAF Armoured Cars sent out to pick up downed allied pilots.With water and fags passed around instead of bullets,their war was over  and thankful glad they all were too.For George, and many more their war was not.

Old George as I knew him,was one to keep his word for he never walked on sand ever again. When I met him in 1998 he was just a blind man who counted his rich blessings.

After the war,George and his Wife,would live with Beatrice up until her death in 1954.
This left George and his Wife Daisy living at Hillcrest.  
 Things were now  about to get really worse.        

                                                                             3

                                                        A Small Insight of  Jack`s War

Jack,was one of Sterling`s, SAS hard to handle mob, having left the Guards Commando  under a cloud of charges one being of assaulting a Superior Officer, who had the misfortune of man handling Jack, after him having had a bout of hard drinking overnight. He too fought in the desert war,but would never meet up with his older brother there.It was David Sterling,who requested Jack,be allowed to leave and join his small unit. Jack,was happy to rather than face the possibility of a firing squad.The Commando`s lost a good explosives man as Jack, could make explosives out of near anything to hand and although short fused himself could, would ,and did do valuable service to the war effort in helping blow stuff up. His Army Record went conveniently missing after 1946. Jack would go on to fight in others wars, but in 1947 he headed for home and a showdown with his older brother George. The scene was set for big time trouble at Hillcrest.
 It simmered on and on in one endless bout of displayed craziness, between the two of them.

 ( I always mention, "One must recognize insanity when you meet it." )                                                                    
                                                                      4
                                                        George verses Jack

Due to a disgruntled conversion in 1955,there were now two small cottages leaning for support one from another,and a younger Triggle brother lived in the other cottage which would oddly share the name.
It was the hard wearing case,that the two Triggle brother`s had fallen out in their school days over a petty something ,and never made up. Eventually the younger brother bag in hand left the family home at the age of 16.
Then the Cottage had been one large one,however much later when a Will ,was finally read out aloud both the Triggle Brothers had been left half of the property each.
The return of the younger brother resulted in furniture being shoved to one side. Then a very angry quick straight line of chalk was drawn up across the floor, while hot under the collar contention like a red hot fire flared up as to where the first brick should  be laid.
"It should be laid along the Line your side." One Brother would shout,and the other so caustic would reply likewise. Finally it was decided upon, to lay each of the old bricks with the  line to the center of each one. George Triggle would lay one course of bricks,then Jack Triggle, the next until eventually each were well bricked up in their own new space. So each were left with a tiny room and the snug chimney at the far end of it. The floor above converted likewise finally divided these two rather nasty individuals from each others sight. The Brothers never spoke to each other after this occasion,but did cuss at each other over the garden fence when fearsome eyes of madness caught sight of each other.

 It was at this time 1955,that the name changed to Hillcrest Cottage,the large garden and very large but steep  parcel  of land remained the property of George Triggle. Next door was to remain Hillcrest as Jack would not give it up. Although the home was now split in half by the brothers,eventually the younger one Jack sold his half and went his scornful way never to be seen of again. Gritting his teeth almost to the point of biting his tongue,he was adamant he would not let his older brother George buy it. As i remember it the original argument started over a game of Conkers at school,and over the years this paranoia also linked to 7 minutes fested to bursting point.    Very sad indeed.                          
                                                                     
                                                                     5
                                                   
                                                      Mrs Daisy Triggle

It was often said of Mrs Triggle,that she slept  upon the finest Duck-down  feather  mattress ,and pillows  so soft that they were indeed fit for Nobleman,Prince or Princes or even Kings and Queens. You see Mrs Triggle,was known as the Duck Lady of Honey Well,who kept Ducks,Geese and Chickens too,and was very handy at the necking of them one in each hand at the same time. Always quite well fluffed with nose a wet and dripping ,her feathery nostrils certainly helped out in part to describe  such a rather short, portly figure of a women in her mid 40`s , in the process of plucking them. Daisy always wore a smile,and never took her duty lightly.
Daisy, would always sing along with every action applied in the plucking. "Tuck,tear and Pull___Tuck Tear and Pull." So with each days work,as it passed by,the song continued on in this constantly monotonous occupation of a living, which is why the reason for keeping ducks and chickens in the first place.
As for the Geese they were her Security Watch and darn good noisy violent,and quick at it they all were.

Concerning the song it went on with no rhyme or real reason to it,unless you have ever done a plucking yourself. Holding the bird on your lap tight,and applying what is directed within the song is something never forgotten.
Daisy,actually organised the business,and shouldered most of the work,and all of the responsibility. George on the other hand injured and mentally scared during the war willingly left it to her,because it was the best thing to do.Although breathing he had given up living a normal life.Such are the battle scars of any war.
For a while George Kept Bee`s, and hand made several of the wooden hives. He was content for a while,but later a nearby farmer sprayed his crops and George lost all his Bee`s. Sinking mentally lower he just sighed a sigh and gave up his former interests for good.( Later George and Daisy, would change ,practice Christian values and go out preaching every day.)

Yes for the Triggle`s it was a Living. Eggs were sold for two  penny`s each or half a dozen for a ten-pence,and the large family`s certainly appreciated the two free eggs within every dozen.
Selling is a lot easier if you give a little away.The family Motto,` Better the quick Shilling rather than the slow Pound.
Now Mrs Triggle also sold at the garden gate the eggs and when not there people would take what they needed leaving the money in an old jam jar. Duck egg`s were also sold threepence each,which helped pay for her daily bottle of best Cream Stout. A certain something she shared with her rather flea ridden Black Cat.Occasionally it got done and dusted with white powder that rid the beast of the fleas,but upon the over licking of it made Tiddles, foam a perfusion of bubbles as if awaiting a shave. Tiddles, was known locally as the `Killer Cat`,and for good reason too. It being the case it encountered on many a well planned hunting trip passers by.It also attacked the Vicars head. Yes Head.

                                                                              6
                                                       
                                                              Tiddles a Cat Tale

One day,a hot day. A Sunday as i recall,yes certainly it was a Sunday.  Tiddles was stretched out lazylike a dreaming and a kipping away the dose of Milk Stout while laying in the sun in his favourite spot on the cemetery wall. The wall of half red brick,and grey flint was about eight foot high at that stretch and was studded in wild flowers that always spread and appeared throughout each passing spring and summer.This high wall always gave this old moggy security enough to stretch out and sleep a cat-nap.On this occasion one eye opening ment that he caught sight of the congregation leaving the church. The over nodding Vicar was collecting his tenth as they all filed out. A Tenbob Note, Shillings,and sixpences,Half-crowns and two-bob`s  along with a few copper coins from the children were dropping nicely into the one handled wooden collection box he was holding. While a nodding of thanks,the Vicar thought to himself, ` Praise the Lord this is good day.` He was wrong.
The Killer Cat now made alert caught sight of a weird creature all curled up and sitting upon the nodding Vicars head,and so it, this Half-cut Moggy shot into blood thirsty action. Down it shot from the rustic ancient wall.
With a  Massive fluffed up tail,it streaked at speed across the old Church yard full  of lazy leaning grave stones until it shot up the back of the Vicars legs. Massive claws ,hook-like and deadly in design penetrated both cloth and skin and what lay beneath. This poor fellow now fear struck and painfully frightened out of his wits,also felt in another instant as the Cat continued up his back.Then jumping from his shoulder clawed away and caught in its mouth this fluffed up creature which had oddly not even stirred at all. What a scene for any eye to behold after a restful Sunday Service. Screaming Vicar,jumping crazily arms moving as if motivated from an unsound mind. Congregation screaming and a running,the Cat Swearing,but throughout it all,an awfully quiet hairy creature.   Perhaps the Killer Cat had thought,` I`ve killed it,"
The end result of the attack was a black moggy bolting away across the leaning grave stones while swearing with a rather dead thing limp and hairy in its wet jaws,and scarpering away in another direction a very bald man fleeing wildly to escape this horrendous  creature.
Well that was the last time anyone ever saw anything of the Vicars favourite hairpiece.
The Bible Thumper was soon gone too. Being so traumatised by the whole incident, he began to jerk and to stutter out aloud which made a twenty minute sermon last quite a lot longer. He had also taken to wrapping newspaper around the bottom of his legs held there fixed in place by elastic bands,just in case that brute of a Killer Cat reappeared for another climbing spree.
Being all full of nerves ,he rose in the  dead of one night,and most fearfully stole away. He was last heard of trying to order a double whisky in a tavern of most ill repute in a town far away. Well it was at least 23 miles away from the old Saxon Church at Honey Well,the high wall and Tiddles the alcoholic Cat.


                                                           To Be Continued
                                                           
                                                                    Next

                                                   The Tale of Good Old Ron
                                                                     
                                                           
                                                                       BB

                                                            Copyright 2015


Monday, 16 November 2015

Half Way House by Beano Boy

Many years ago I made Half Way House,and as this develops you see it in a far different light then when you first caught sight of it. For things are often never what they seem to be. Half Way House stands right on the very edge of a dark wood,and is not to far away from the Post Mill down Fiddle Wood Lane.The man who owns the house and lives there comes from a family of skin-flints. He is therefore no different ,from them. Being a nine minute wonder he owns much of the land and quite a few farms too,all with tenent farmers,and gamekeepers with shot guns.
He is one of identical twins,and being born nine minutes before his younger Brother,well he inherited 80% of the family `s accumulations,and wad`s of stash and cash.The house was built by his Great,Great Grand Father,who believed in cutting corners in order to save money while rubbing his miserly hands.____So this fellow one of two is cut from the same cloth,but sometimes family choices lead the way for an awful amount of wet and windy drafts.



I hope you like the cottage.                                         



                                                      Nearby is a giant haystack


                                          They certainly have to work hard in these parts.


                                       The front view without the gate or hedgerow.


                              The thatch is thick and sound,needing no attention paid to it .
                              As for the walls and oak timbers,they are painted every seven years
                              usually by some guy working on the side,and signing on at the Job Center.
                              Yes cash in hand, a Benifit cheat.


  
                                     Now the illusion is shattered,and an oddity revealed.                                   

 
                                       Yes this old family of Glad Grind`s, certainly believe in cutting corners.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

    There we have it,the opened side and back view. The tree`s were laid on their sides to create the hedgerow.  
The fellow you can see it not  the one who lives at Half Way House. His name will be revealed later in another tall tale.


The thatched roof was designed to give this prop a solid look about the whole place from the front and side angle,but like i mentioned before things are not always what they at first appear to be.                                 
  BB